July 22, 2004 | David F. Coppedge

Zoo Monkey Walks Upright

For what it’s worth, there’s a story going around about a macaque in an Israeli zoo started walking on its hind legs after a near-death experience (see MSNBC News and picture).  One news source is calling it a missing link, another claiming the strange behavior is due to brain damage.

This calls for a monkey riddle.
Q: If humans evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?
A: Some of them had a choice.
    Paleoanthropologists make a big deal out of finding alleged ancestors that walked upright.  Big deal; chimps can walk upright sometimes.  Some people can walk on all fours.  It only takes a chiropractic trick to make an ape-man walk upright; didn’t they see Ringo Starr, John Matuczak and Shelley Long in “Cave Man”?  Maybe Natasha will stimulate a new theory that walking upright is a result of brain damage.  Find a monkey that can type Shakespeare and we’ll pay attention (see 05/12/2003 headline).

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Categories: Dumb Ideas, Early Man, Mammals

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