March 6, 2020 | David F. Coppedge

Astrobiology: The Perfect Swarm

Come join the Astrobiology Storytelling Society! You’ll never be out of work!

When NASA invented ‘astrobiology’ in 1996, storytellers swarmed into the job market, knowing that they could have permanent employment. It was the perfect storm against taxpayers who had scoffed at government spending on searches for space aliens. No matter that not a single space microbe has ever been found; in astrobiology (better known as bio-astrology), evidence is not needed. Look at the factors that came together to turn this new ‘science’ into job security for storytellers:

  • There is always an infinite number of storytelling plots.
  • NASA has power to plunder taxpayer pockets.
  • The public is primed to believe in aliens due to decades of movies and TV.
  • Astrobiologists can use scientific equipment (telescopes etc.) to look busy like scientists.
  • In this new ‘science,’ no results relevant to the question of alien life are required.
  • Bio-astrologers can always say, “We’re getting warmer.”
  • No intelligence is allowed. Investigators must swear allegiance to the DODO rule.

Because these factors all came together in bio-astrology, creating the perfect storm for storytellers, willing applicants have swarmed into it, becoming more reckless as time goes on without a find. Other countries followed the USA in this pursuit of better story plots. Enjoying the aura of ‘science,’ the bio-astrologers bask in its glow, letting their unrestrained imaginations soar – not into outer space, but into the vast spaces inside their skulls.

The key to understanding astrobiology is to look for perhapsimaybecouldness words: words like might, could, may, possibly, potentially, and conceivably. These words signal that evidence is lacking and the storyteller is imagining things. On what basis does the bio-astrologer believe that these things could happen? Their faith is grounded in materialistic evolution. Here’s the reasoning, once creation has been ruled out of bounds: ‘We’re here, so if it happened once, it’s probably happening everywhere else where conditions are suitable.’ Armed with hydrobioscopy assumptions (i.e., ‘follow the water’), and the Stuff Happens Law, the endless search for ‘scenarios’ of inhabited planets goes on, and on, and on: no intelligence allowed, no evidence needed.

The Latest Plots

Is life possible around black holes? ( Paul Sutter’s storyline begins with this fact: “There’s a lot of energy there for organisms to tap.” So it’s possible. But why stop at the event horizon? There’s a lot of energy at the singularity. There’s a lot of energy in the interiors of stars. There’s a lot of energy in atomic bombs. There’s a lot of energy in unbridled imagination. To Sutter, ‘might’ makes right:

So if you’re able to get close enough to a black hole, you’ll find yourself surprisingly warm, and if you’re a planet, you might just find your water ice converted into liquid water oceans — a potential home for life….

Though this scenario is possible, it wouldn’t be very pretty. The planet would have to orbit at nearly the speed of light, experiencing a time dilation factor of thousands — meaning that for every second that goes by on that world, hours would slide by for us. And who knows if a planet could even find its way that close to a black hole while still surviving.

Still, the work shows that we have to keep our minds open when it comes to potential homes for life, up to and including some of the most terrible environments in the universe.

Open your mind. Feel the farce, Dupe. Let it empower you. Let it transport your imagination to wondrous lands of possibilities. And here’s your paycheck.

To find alien life, we should focus on white dwarf stars (Live Science). White dwarfs have a lot of energy, too, although not as much as black holes. But ah, the range of possibilities in storytelling is more vast than our imaginations. Paul Sutter again. See? He’s an astrophysicist. He has cred. That legitimizes his mythoids.

Physicists: Ancient life might have escaped Earth and journeyed to alien stars ( is about one third astronomy, one third bio-astrology, and one third Hollywood. One article will describe a NASA mission, one will imagine life on other planets, and another will report the latest plot in Star Trek: Picard. Ancient life ‘might’ have escaped Earth; who could falsify a scenario? That makes us the space aliens. What a great plot: extraterrestrials discover life on Thulcandra!

Are the aliens us? UFOs may be piloted by time-traveling humans, book argues ( Look at the plot possibilities inherent in the scenario that ‘the aliens are us.’ It’s just like in the movies, where Star Wars and Star Trek have launched dozens of sequels. Throw in some time-travel and you have the elements for a blockbuster. Someone should make a movie out of the Michael Masters’ new book, Identified Flying Objects: A Multidisciplinary Scientific Approach to the UFO Phenomenon. It’s got everything. UFOs. Time Travel. Evolution!

Masters believes that through a comprehensive analysis of consistent patterns of long-term biocultural change throughout human evolution — as well as recent advances in our understanding of time and time travel — we may begin to consider this future possibility in the context of a currently unexplained phenomenon.

“The book ties together those known aspects of our evolutionary history with what is still an unproven, unverified aspect of UFOs and aliens,” he said.

New Telescopes Aim to Detect Extraterrestrial Intelligence (University of California at San Diego). ‘Look at our telescopes. We are scientists!’ The PANOSETI system will look at more stars in shorter time than ever before!

But how likely is it that scientists will detect extraterrestrial signals with PANOSETI?

“The short and correct answer is we have no idea on the likelihood of detection,” said Wright. “With PANOSETI we will be observing an unexplored phase space for SETI and astronomical observations. Our goal is to make the first dedicated SETI observatory that is capable of observing the entire visible sky all of the time.”

They can find nothing forever, and still say they are getting warmer.

The origin of life as a planetary phenomenon (Sasselov, Grotzinger and Sutherland, Science Advances, 5 Feb 2020). If you start off on the wrong foot in the wrong direction, where will you wind up? In NASA, with prestige and job security.

We begin with the premise that life emerged on Earth from chemistry that led to the synthesis of molecular building blocks, which, in turn, self-assembled to form cells. This prebiotic chemistry must have been a natural and robust extension of the geochemical and environmental conditions readily available somewhere on the planet.

Stop right there! This is absurd. They should know better. Let them read The Mystery of Life’s Origin, revised 2020, for a good dose of corporal punishment for saying a stupid thing. Let them read James Tour’s chapter so that they be exposed as charlatans. Do you see how they “begin with the premise” of materialism? That means their own brains are material lumps of atoms. Since truth does not emerge from atoms, one doesn’t have to read another word of their paper.

Mazur interviews all the leading lights in the materialist origin-of-life field.

Dimitar Sasselov has been selling materialistic snake oil for over a decade (11 Nov 2011). Remember how he informed us that life cannot form inside a star, so a particular exoplanet was an enigma (Halloween 2013)? Remember how he described himself as ignorant (3 June 2014)? Remember how he said life can be made from rocks (3 June 2014)? Remember how he said life could emerge from poison and sickly goo (23 April 2018)? Why do we listen to these self-proclaimed ignoramuses with a little knowledge of chemistry and a gift of gab, who say stupid things? The answer is that NASA pushes materialism and looks for people to pay to do it. Look at how he answered Susan Mazur’s question in The Origin of Life Circus, p. 228:

Suzan Mazur: So if we get a few more creation myths along the way, that’s part of the pathway?

Dimitar Sasselov: Yes.

Same with John Sutherland and John Grotzinger. They get paid to write creation myths. They deserve to get paid – with shame.

Jeremiah 6:15-16
15 Were they ashamed when they committed abomination?
    No, they were not at all ashamed;
    they did not know how to blush.
Therefore they shall fall among those who fall;
    at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,”
says the Lord.
16 Thus says the Lord:
“Stand by the roads, and look,
    and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is; and walk in it,
    and find rest for your souls.
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

More examples of NASA’s perpetual storytelling society will be shown on March 9. There were too many to show in one article.

Watch Illustra Media’s film for a dose of reality.

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