Evolution Suspected on Mars

Mars had great floods of Biblical proportions,
but evolutionists find images of Darwin instead

There are scars of great floods on Mars, suggesting the presence of young-earth creationists. Evolutionists are launching ships to invade the red planet and take over. As eager as they are to find life on Mars, not even the red planet should be infested with vermin like that.

If that sounds like a Babylon Bee headline, well, yes it does. But like leftists on Earth, evolutionists have no sense of humor, and prefer to ignore satire. They proceed along with their fact-free speculations, ignoring evidence that in any way challenges their moyboy timeline. Nothing must interfere with their visions of the emergence of life in the most inhospitable places in the solar system.

The deepest canyons on Mars were rapidly formed by devastating floods (New Scientist, 29 Sept 2021). Leah Crane announces a rethink. Mars was supposed to be another world of uniformitarian gradualism. Now, she says, geologists led by Timothy Goudge at the University of Texas at Austin are reconsidering. They now concur that some processes must have happened really, really fast. Crane begins her report Tontologically,

Mars is so dry now, the atmosphere crackles with static electricity.

Floods may have been far more important on ancient Mars than we thought. The Red Planet is criss-crossed by valley networks that once held flowing rivers and the deepest of them seem to have formed quickly from cataclysmic flooding.

Generally, we assume that riverbeds are mostly carved out by slow erosion, but some large floods on Earth have been seen to create canyons quickly and violently. “Instead of forming a river valley over tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of years, you might be forming them catastrophically over weeks or months, really rapid timescales for geology,” says Goudge.

Vaccine Mandate

The rest of the article emphasizes the extent of these catastrophically-formed canyons. They represent at least a fourth of the erosional landscape on Mars. “That means these valleys were probably far more important to the landscape on ancient Mars than we realised,” Crane says, paraphrasing Goudge’s exclamations.

Enough talk like that could conjure up memories about a story of a great global flood. If dry old Mars could have floods creating large canyons in weeks, doesn’t that suggest that Earth, the water planet, might have had something bigger? Where did the Mars water come from? Where did it go?

The antidote to heretical thoughts like that is a booster shot of Darwin vaccine. Continuing in their Tontological vein, they say,

“Our understanding of how much water was available at the surface and for how long really feeds into our understanding of how Mars might have been able to sustain life or evolve life,” says Goudge. This work is a step towards reconstructing the history of water – and therefore habitability – on Mars.

The Darwin-brand antibodies quickly go to work, squelching any potential for a creationist infection.

Perish the thought.