Darwin Gives Unwanted Gifts

Darwin’s helpers are
delivering something
worse than lumps of coal

 

Jolly Saint Nick: what child doesn’t love him? They sit on his lap in department stores and tell him what they want for Christmas. On Christmas Eve they wait with great expectation for him to come down the chimney and deliver the goods, hoping to hear a distant “Ho ho ho!” from the living room or the jingling of bells from the reindeer landing his sleigh on the roof. Some children leave Santa milk and cookies for his visit down the chimney. In their innocence they feel confident they will be on his “nice” and not “naughty” list, getting something fun instead of lumps of coal.

With his twinkling eyes and big white beard and red suit, Santa Claus is the picture of joy to little children all over the world.

But there’s an imposter on the loose, pretending to give children the gift of “understanding” about where they came from. His name is Charles Darwin. He may look like Santa in some respects, but no child should take anything from him. The gifts this imposter delivers were cooked up in a warm little pond filled with toxic ingredients.

Darwin shoves the little children
All the children of the world;
Red and yellow, black and white,
They are specious in his sight.
Darwin shoves the little children of the world.

Santa Darwin pretends to be joyous and jolly, but his heart is wicked. Children who listen to him will be told that their real parents are lumps of dead rocks.

The key ingredients for life on Earth came from space, new evidence suggests (11 Oct 2024, Space.com). Santa Darwin has many thousands of elves in his workshop. They are called scientists and science reporters. One of the elves, Robert Lea, tells the little children that their real parents are dead rocks from outer space.

New evidence has emerged suggesting that the building blocks of life were delivered to the primordial Earth from space by meteorites, a finding that could help scientists hunt for alien life.

Lea mixes his ingredients together in the brew, everything including the kitchen zinc. Stuff happened, he says, over millionzzzz of yearzzzzzzz….

The team looked at zinc in a large sample of meteorites that originate from different planetesimals. They then traced the arrival of different types of zinc over the tens of millions of years that our planet was accreting material.

He speaks with the authority of a higher elf, Rayssa Martins at the University of Cambridge, in case anyone complains.

Comets played a ‘major’ role in making life on Earth possible, new study hints (12 Dec 2024, Live Science). Santa Darwin’s elves love to drop hints to unsuspecting kids that “understanding” is coming if they will listen to the grandfatherly imposter. Elf group leader Deepa Jain drops “hints” from a “new study” that the secret brew from which life emerged came from comets. Comets played a “major role” in making life on Earth possible, he says. Knowing that the little children love a mystery story, he draws them in:

How all of this water ended up on Earth, though, has remained a mystery. Some scientists think that although Earth’s geological processes may have generated a tiny fraction of it, most water was likely deposited by comets or asteroids via repeated, cataclysmic collisions.

These thinkers are scientists, Johnny; they must be respected. They know more than your parents do.

Minerals in hot springs performed a key chemical reaction for early life on Earth, new study confirms (28 Nov 2024, The Conversation). Santa Darwin’s elves cover the globe.

One from Sydney, Australia, named Quoc Phuong Tran, tells the children that some of the space rocks, as lifeless as lumps of coal, landed in hot little ponds. They roiled and boiled until their parents emerged. When questioned by curious children, Tran says that he’s no elf; he’s a scientist! He is a grad student studying the origin of life. The children, therefore, must believe the words of his leader, St (Santa) Darwin, if they want understanding.

Our new research adds to a small but growing body of evidence that ancient versions of these hot springs could have played a pivotal role in the emergence of life on Earth. This helps bridge the gap between competing hypotheses regarding where life could have emerged.

And if life “could have emerged” according to St. Darwin’s Stuff Happens Law, then it must have. No other possibility exists. The children must believe it. It’s not a fairy tale for kids. It’s a fairy tale for grown-ups! Kids do want to grow up some day, don’t they? They must practice now by trying to believe six impossible things before breakfast.

Study sheds light on origin of genetic code (12 Dec 2024, University of Arizona). One of the propaganda tricks Santa Darwin and his elves play is to promise to “shed light” on evolution. That’s because there is no evolution in the external world to see; it only exists in the imagination. In the dark creases of gray matter in the brain, evolution is not apparent. It needs the help of St Darwin and his helpers to perceive it. Shining their flashlights of faith, they help the doubters exercise their imaginations till visions of sugarplums dance in their heads, and the children can conceptualize images of their great-great-great-grandparents emerging from ring-like molecules that cast off the aroma of understanding.

The team identified more than 400 families of sequences dating back to LUCA [Last Universal Common Ancestor]. More than 100 of them originated even earlier and had already diversified prior to LUCA. These turned out to contain more amino acids with aromatic ring structures, like tryptophan and tyrosine, despite these amino acids being late additions to our code.

“This gives hints about other genetic codes that came before ours, and which have since disappeared in the abyss of geologic time,” Masel said. “Early life seems to have liked rings.“

The flashlight in this tale is held by the infernal Dante Lauretta, Regents Professor of Planetary Science and Cosmochemistry. He offers “insights for astrobiology, particularly in understanding the potential habitability and biosignatures of extraterrestrial environments.”

With promises of insight and understanding dancing in their victims’ heads, Santa Darwin and his elves package their lumps of meteorites and comets—as black as coal and toxic as tar—into colorful boxes that will help the children assemble and cherish the Building Blocks of Lie.

We’re here to expose the true Grinch in his normal attire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Point to Ponder:
From the wisest man of antiquity, Solomon, comes this counsel:

1 My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
8 guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.
9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice
and equity, every good path;
10 for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
11 discretion will watch over you,
understanding will guard you,
12 delivering you from the way of evil,
from men of perverted speech,
13 who forsake the paths of uprightness
to walk in the ways of darkness,
14 who rejoice in doing evil
and delight in the perverseness of evil,
15 men whose paths are crooked,
and who are devious in their ways.

—Proverbs 2