LOL: The Cure for Darwinian Silliness

The lame naturalistic folk
tales continue because Big
Science Media ignores critics

 

How long must the public endure Darwinian just-so stories? Below, we will show you recent ones that not only are completely unjustifiable by any rational appeal to science, but are downright silly besides. The Darwinian naturalists, who portray themselves as serious researchers, seem to have no fear of making outrageous claims about life originating by chance or complex traits “emerging” by natural selection.

We’re onto you, DODO bigot editors and reporters at Science Daily, Phys.org, The Conversation, in the press offices at universities, or wherever else you are plying your pseudoscientific craft. Even if you want to continue believing in evolutionary scientism, you could not pass Philosophy of Science 101 with assertions like those below. And these are a mere sampling of a widespread habit.

We’re going to keep promoting the LOL tactic until you reform and hire knowledgeable Darwin skeptics on your staff with the skill to refute silly stories with sound science. Have you no shame? Look at what your friends have been claiming!

Supernova theory links an exploding star to global cooling and human evolution (The Conversation, 2 Sept 2025). By all rights, this author should be fired for impersonating a scientist. Francis Thackeray, billed as “Honorary Research Associate, Evolutionary Studies Institute, University of the Witwatersrand” has blown his cred thinking that a supernova made humans what we are today.

My hypothesis is that remnants of a supernova – an exploding star – had an impact on the Earth’s past climate, causing global cooling, between 3 million and 2.6 million years ago and that this indirectly affected the evolution of hominins (ancient relatives of humans)….

It’s super-exciting to think that our evolution may to some extent be associated with supernovae as part of our dynamic universe.

He claims he was thinking. In his Darwine stupor, he’s excited. But he wasn’t thinking like a rational scientist. He was pondering the tiny bubbles in the Darwine. His “hypothesis” (note: hypothesis is not science; it comes before science) doesn’t pass a logic smell test! ‘Supernova cools the climate, showers the earth with deadly rays, turning apes into humans.’ Well, it didn’t do much for turkeys! And it left every other creature without the ability to think abstractly, write scientific papers and compose and perform violin concertos. This evolutionary tale wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a debate with a Darwin skeptic, if it survived chuckles and snickers from the audience. Thackeray just insulted the human race and should be laughed off the stage. He says:

I have been told by my peers that I am inclined to think “out of the box”. Well, in this case I would like to propose a “hominoid mutation hypothesis”. The hypothesis states that the speciation of hominoids (including human ancestors and those of chimpanzees and gorillas) was to some extent associated with mutations and genetic variability caused by cosmic rays.

Please, Dr Thackeray, crawl back into your box. A hypothesis that a meteorite launched a cow over the moon would be more credible than this. Kipling’s original Just-So Stories are more credible than this. While in your box reading elementary logic (had you never been taught that association is not causation?), wait a million Darwin Years. Maybe a lucky mutation will repair your common sense gene.

And as for you, Martin LaMonica, the featured Director of Newsletters and Special Projects at The Conversation, why did you ever let this embarrassing piece of balderdash get published at your website with your name and picture at the end? Aren’t you ashamed to call this “trusted science information”?

All I Have to Do Is Dream, by the Evolutionary Brothers

When I feel lazy in the lab
I need a plot line that’s pre-fab
I grab old Darwin then all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

I can make it shine, drinking that Darwine
Anytime, night or day
Only trouble is— gee whiz,
I’m dreamin’ my data away.

With critics gone, the media’s mine
They’re always there to make me shine
Whenever I want fame, all I have to do is
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream
Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream

Bite by bite: How jaws drove fish evolution (Univ of Michigan, 2 Sept 2025). Morgan Sherburn, the listed contact at UMich, is implicated in this doozy of Darwinian nonsense that he apparently let through: “If you’re reading this sentence, you might have a fish to thank.” Don’t thank God for your ability to enjoy food and speak coherently. Thank your inner fish. This proves that Darwinians have their deities, too, even when they fall over, like Dagon the Philistine fish god, under the power of superior rationality.

Cue Jaws theme for this next gem:

Fish were the first animals to evolve jaws. They use their jaws primarily to eat, but also for defense, as tools—such as to burrow or to crack open hard food—and even as a form of parental care: some fish carry eggs or their young in their mouths. Jaws are a trait that scientists think fueled evolution among vertebrates, including us.

Oh my, where do we start. Does anything drive evolution? Does anything fuel evolution? Not according to Darwin; stuff just happens. Notice the philosophy of progress implied in the quote: some mystical force that cannot be measured with a scientific instrument “drives” and “fuels” evolution in its inexorable quest for human brains. That’s not logic; that’s jawboning like a comedian. And here’s his name:

Rafael Rivero-Vega, co-first author and recent U-M doctoral graduate, collected CT scan data and visited museums to create additional 3D scans of nearly every available, complete lobe-finned fish jaw fossil for his dissertation. He then mapped important characteristics of the jaws in order to test for “adaptive radiation,” or the rapid diversification of animals due to changes in their environment.

This futile exercise in busy work, based as it is on a false premise, makes no sense unless one already is committed to the conclusion: that humans are evolved fish. Rafael, we hate to inform you that there are great scientists, philosophers and scholars who do not accept that! Why do you and your mentors at UMich refuse to acknowledge that truth? Didn’t you learn in school to do a thorough literature search first? Didn’t you find eminent philosopher Thomas Nagel saying that the materialist neo-Darwinian conception of nature is almost certainly false? Didn’t you learn to study all the potential explanations for a phenomenon before accepting one you like? You earned a piece of parchment from your advisors and learned how to make CT scans of lobe-finned fish jaws, but that does not mean you are thinking soundly. Maybe you need to re-learn the problems about lobe-finned fish and jaw evolution (e.g., 1 Aug 2025, 12 June 2019, 12 June 2018, 6 Jan 2010).

In this article, Rafael also tells his readers (contra Darwin) that evolution sometimes slows to a crawl, but other times it is rapid, with an “explosion of diversity” happening millions of Darwin Years ago. That’s evolutionary science, folks! Evolution is slow and gradual, except when it is explosively fast! Stuff happens at different rates! That explains everything!

NASA Research Shows Path Toward Protocells on Titan (NASA Astrobiology, 14 July 2025). Aaron Gronstal, before facing the Court of Public Opinion, you might want to distance yourself from this story. Titan, you know, is almost -300° F and has no liquid water. Bubbles in liquid methane have no more resemblance to life than soap bubbles from a clown’s bubble machine. No one but a Darwinist would think that some bubble-like membrane is on a “path toward protocells” or anything remotely alive. A membrane is nothing; what about the metabolism? What about the genetics? What about the molecular machines? What about the complex specified information that boggles the minds of biochemists today? Your claim is not astrobiology; it is bio-astrology – a cult built on the Stuff Happens Law.

This atmospheric activity also allows for complex chemistry to happen. Energy from the Sun breaks apart molecules like methane, and the pieces then reform into complex organic molecules. Many astrobiologists believe that this chemistry could teach us how the molecules necessary for the origin of life formed and evolved on the early Earth.

Gronstal, you can allow all the chemistry in the lab to happen, and no life will crawl out. You can give it energy by light, shaking, and X-rays and no life will crawl out. You can believe with all your heart that Baal will send the fire of animation, and still no life will crawl out. Chemistry did not teach this; Darwinian materialists did, not by science, but by faith (“many astrobiologists believe”). They should be shamed out of Court.

Aaron, you and your advisors are hereby sentenced to watch all of Dr James Tour‘s videos about abiogenesis, all of the Long Story Short videos about the origin of life, and the clip “First Life” from Origins by Illustra Media. After that assignment—after you have left Fantasyland—then and only then we can talk about life, philosophy, and reality.

Assignment: Some readers may wonder why we call evolution the “Stuff Happens Law.” Watch the embedded video by Fraser Cain in this article at Universe Today about habitable planets. Count how many times he uses the word “happened” to explain how very incredibly lucky we are to live on this privileged planet. This illustrates that everyone believes in the supernatural and in miracles. Evolutionists worship Lady Luck.

Notice that Cain fails to give credit to intelligent design advocate Dr Guillermo Gonzalez, co-author of The Privileged Planet, for the concept of the Galactic Habitable Zone.

Readers, are you tired from over a century of Darwinian just-so stories? Dr Robert Shedinger sees evidence in recent evolutionary writings and presentations that the IDM (intelligent design movement) is having an effect (Science and Culture Today, 2 Sept 2025). Perhaps the demise of Darwinism is coming. Keep the pressure on: laugh harder!